#12 - Tongue & #49 - Turkey skin

I'm going to combine topic #12 & 49 cause I'm pretty sure they're one in the same.

We don't have many family gatherings in my extended family. But while I lived in SoCal my husband and I would join my CA cousins for family functions such as Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. My dad (and FC) would usually show up as well. I remember one Thanksgiving get together very clearly only because it disturbed me so much.

The Turkey was done. My cousin's husband Mark was cutting the Turkey. All of my relatives are standing around admiring the food they're about to eat. Mark, who is still cutting the Turkey had no way of knowing what was about to happen. F-ing C comes forward from the back of the room. She's holding her dog in one hand. With her other hand she reaches over Mark's shoulder, grabs some freshly cut turkey skin with the nasty fake nails on her thumb and forefinger, arks her arm up into the air dramatically, opens her mouth, sticks out her tongue, and drops the entire piece in her mouth. Oh, but wait! Some of it didn't make it into her mouth! So she pokes and prods with those same nasty nails to make sure it's all in that dark hole in her face.

We. Are. All. In. Shock.
Because really, who does that?! He was STILL CUTTING THE TURKEY! The Turkey was still on a PUBLIC PLATE! It's one thing entirely to wait for the turkey to be cut, wait in line, put the turkey you want on your plate, and THEN eat the skin if that's what you desire, but you don't pluck the skin off the turkey while it's still being cut and still on a public plate!!!! OH and I forgot to mention that this woman RARELY washes her hands. Rarely.

Anyway, after the initial shock wore off, I looked at FC and said "Cathi, that's rude. Can't you wait?!" And, pretending like she didn't hear me, she stuck her fingers onto the plate AGAIN and took yet more skin. At this point my other cousin T, who was standing right next to me, leans over and says to me "Looks like I won't be eating any dark meat". Well said cousin. Well said.

11 - Shadowbox Bib

So when I found out I was pregnant late summer 2008 I was pretty stoked! And like any stoked pregnant chick I was pretty stoked to tell my family. Being that I lived in southern California at the time, I called up most everyone to give them the news. But I was going to see my dad (and FC of course) the following week in Palm Springs so I went out and got a bib that said "I love my Grandpa" and wrapped it up. So fast forward a week  and we're all sitting in the living room, I'm waiting for an opportunity to give my dad his present when FC isn't around. But she just wouldn't bugger off. So I gave his the present, he opened it, and FC says "NO WAY!" before dad can even say anything. I ignore her cause I could give a crap what she thinks. Anyway, he did the whole proud grandpa bit and we went on with life.
A couple weeks later, I flew to WA (why, I don't remember) and I'm staying at my Dad's house at the lake. I'm taking my crap upstairs when I see an obnoxious new addition to the stairwell's "decorative" items. It's a shadowbox frame thing with the bib I got my dad. Clearly made by FC because she also added some stickers of babies in it as well and stickers that spelled out "Jenny Jr.". Really... Jenny Jr's the best she could come up with?! I don't even spell my name like that!! I really just wanted to take it and chuck it. When FC asked me how I liked it later, I just looked at her and said that she spelled my name wrong. I really had nothing else to say about it. It's just a sad, gaudy attempt to be buddies or something, which clearly, we're not!